For a single easy payment of one-hundred dollars you can have people dox you at the end of my low-effort podcast until I decide to stop doing it.
(Your name will be listed at the end of every PGL episode from here on out, on a tasteful end credits brass plaque type thing)
I want you to close your eyes and imagine for a moment that you're a sovereign citizen with a collection of Rolex CARS (yes they made a car specifically for you (ultimate status play, making non-car luxury brands make cars and vice versa)) with huge muscles concealed by your tuxedo--just big chunks of meat all over you, bubbles of meat for flexing, and you just got done buying land and real estate like Grant Cardone told you to, in The Poconos (hot tub log cabin all that shit).
Great, you did it all and you're almost ready to suck an exhaust pipe, but there's one last thing on the bucket list-- EXECUTIVE PRODUCE the offical SAM HYDE’s podcast (Titled Perfect Guy Life if you havent seen it yet) and help us get on Spotify which was always my dream this whole time.
Sure, you could just send me money, like a lot of famous people and beautiful women have done, but HOW are you going to credibly BRAG to your stepmom?--you know that bitch is going to need proof. That fucking bitch made dinner just so she can hold it over your head later when you slam your dad's car into a telephone pole she can act like she's always been some hero with every answer... LOL the number of times you beat off into her panties is disturbing, enough to give you an asthma attack like the time you found her thong, LOOL well now at her wake you can lean over the caughin and whisper about how youre an Executive Producer... lets fucking go
OK, time to get serious:
This is the ultimate power play possible in life. There’s nothing you or your fellow rich people can do that’s bigger and more baller than this: watching from the cuck chair while money gets sucked into the bottomless vortex known as Entertainment Production. Every dollar spent here will directly finance the show in my mind that is fake. The real show will be continued to be funded by getting lucky once on a crypto play which enabled me to pretend like a finance guru for 10+ years while still eating sandwiches from D’Angelos alone in my car…. :-\
Rejected Tiers (shit we don't do):
Made-Guy Tier: Kinda gay.. better off going with King Tier. Mafia stuff is no longer cool. Everyone has done it and is like buying second hand Jordans... yeah you got the good jordans but some other guy's foot was in it... just buy brand new. We don't think mafia shit is cool anymore sorry if youre in the bafia reading thi...... fuckkk ok, just heard back from my accountant, apparantly we cant afford to do away with the Made-Guy Tier. ignore this paragraph
Portugeuse Tier: Give me your money some other way but stay away from me, not that you have any money anyway, if you come near me I will actually hurt you.. block me on instagram so i dont have to see that shit. If I smell Irish Spring soap and Right Guard SPRAY deodorant (where did you even get that) then ill know it was you... Your Dodge Avenger smells like fish sauce and I can hear the serpentine belt squealing from a mile away so dont try to sneak up on me. Wash your ass
Armed Forces Tier: I have to admit I used to think soldiers were the highest tier people and so there was an accordingly high tier (in the millions) that you could donate to me and be a soldier in my army. I respected these men more than Donald Rumsfeld and The Bush Dynasty combined and I thought if only we could harness the Service of a Soldier it would be a better resource than nuclear power. Jocko Willink waking up at 4am impressed the hell out of me even though I know that just means he's going to bed at 8pm and he doesn't do any actual work except for podcasting and book promotion which is the easiest shit possible. Regardless he was my hero and idol. Then I saw this on youtube--
and immediately became a card-carrying anti-war activist. This tier has since been cancelled and all soldiers were given refunds in the form of tax deductable donations to their handicap-accessible V6 Camaro fund ("look I can drive with no legs" we get it youre very special)
Chinese Tier: DO i even need to explain this LOL
You know, the ancient samurai had a saying about generosity…
That’s pretty cool, dontcha think?
But we here in Rhode Island say it a little bit different: